She
relates the memory of the details methodically as she continues to journey
through events from her life. There had
been a six year span, in all, of spiritual attacks, leading into a spiritually
climactic resolve toward the end. The first three of those years will have
proven to be a highly intense assault with the latter three years asserting a
monumental defense against those assaults.
Satan opted to enter into what would turn out to be a lengthy trial
against this young woman and was not hesitant in presenting his case. He had a definite agenda concerning this
woman in the area where she had committed fornication outside of the ordinance of
marriage. This specific, non-legal action
was the primary officiant into the legal door, or opening, of her soul. Satan continued his attacks, seeking to build
upon this circumstance using his own, choice terms. Lying spirits. Familiar spirits. Tormenting spirits. By any means necessary.
Spring boarding off of the fact that
sexuality is a natural part of the DNA of each and every person that is born.
Imagine the set-up to divert just this one part of a person. Imagine the efforts made each step of the
way, starting in the womb, when bone and flesh are being knit together. Remember, Satan has accumulated generations
of knowledge on how to perform this ‘exact’ science as he individually seeks to
trip the sensitive, fragile, chromosomal wires of mankind. This is the ultimate
spite against God’s creation, jeopardizing everything that He made “good.”
It is without a doubt that the physical,
mental, emotional, or sexual anomalies that happens in-between conception and
birth are a staple of Satan’s agenda against us. Believe me when I say that he is not at all
random when using these devices either.
He knows exactly the strongholds he wants to build. In her case, the plan was to haunt—gradually
adding confusion. Confusion that would hurl a major identity crisis. A sexual identity crisis.
~How vulnerable is this clay! How easy it is to manipulate!~
Another device to exacerbate this crisis
would be his expertise at manipulating societal systems. There are many excerpts in the Bible that
supports this statement of Satan’s possessing “prince of the air” abilities to
dominate masses of people. His influence
can cause people to chant things like, “Crucify Him, crucify Him.” People, historically, participate in protests
without questioning why they are doing it.
For three years, she battled a mental
breakdown. A mental breakdown battled
she. Within the first three years of having a sexual relationship as mentioned
before, conditions changed. Former happy
homemaker, vanilla field of dreams, fantastical fantasies, were overturned and displaced
with dire straits. Roaring recitals remained a constant aim against her
mind. She could not escape her own
bandied thoughts. A bombardment of
another kind began to infiltrate her mind and soul. Her thought’s betrayal shaved off convincing
epithets, trying to make her accept what she did not believe. She endured three years of this psychological
agony.
~On top of being poor, black,
rejected…now this~
A contrary, lying voice viciously
attacked on all sides (Pandora’s Box is a hellish entrée to have happen to
anyone). With the hedge that had been
her protection now removed, there was no safety net to guard her mind. There was no shield for her faith. A minister once said that the devil is not
interested in your flesh since the flesh perishes. The devil is more interested in your
mind. He wants your mind. And he definitely wanted her mind.
b
Each day that the sun did rise, she arose
with it only to be greeted with a surge of attacks within. She tried to endure, stunned and only able to
shake her head in dismay most of the time.
She would incline to speaking to herself, repeating over and over, and
over again,
“Why
me?”
No answer of comfort came to soften the
blows. This was the beginning of
woes. Every day became exactly the same
as the day before it—filled with dread, confusion, fear, anger, and deepening
darkness. A mind storm howled. It was bad.
Wondering, she did not know if she had simply eluded her own self for
all of these years. Every emotion pours
from her soul like a player on a stage, acting out his part, as the writer
writes. The writer keeps on writing. The
story must be told.
~Is this real?~
She recalls how she fumbled at
resistance. How her efforts shored up a
most cowardly defense against the allegations being instigated. She tried to ignore the conversation of years
gone past that once again resumes with more fortitude. That lone, familiar spirit of long ago
appears again—this time with a complete jury of accusing voices. That hideous creature is all spirit
(invisible) this time and not alone.
Other evil spirits join in with it in its endeavoring pursuit. She hears after years of silence,
“You’re
a dyke!”
“You
won’t ever be able to keep a man no matter how you try!”
“You
are not enough of a woman anyway!”
“You’re
missing something!”
“Your
chromosome count isn’t right!”
“You would be better off as a man!”
“Let
me show you!”
“I can teach you to walk and talk like a man
does!”
“You
will feel more accepted if you learn to dress and act like a man!”
“You
will feel more natural and comfortable as a man!”
“And then it will be okay to look at—you
knooow!”
It is for these three years that she
battled, refuted, and rejected this verbiage.
The introduction of science into the equation as an explanation,
something to do with an X or Y deformity, was not enough for a
concession. It all sounded like babble
and gobbledygook. Mental exhaustion
swept over her while wrestling with these ludicrous notions. Yet they persisted. Mounting and gaining strength. Scouring to reign. It was the most mind-blowing dialogue any
mind could have ever experienced. Such
explicit suggestions are pouring in, running over, in order to condition
behaviors outright, in an attempt at making the idea of conformance and adherence an easier
transition. It was as if being anointed
by something evil, an evil baptismal of the worst kind. It went from bad to devastatingly worse,
mentally.
~Can it truly get any worse? Oh yes, it can~
Each and every day, from sun up to sun
down, similar, vulgar expressions were played back into her ears as if from a
tape recorder. Rewind. Play back.
Subliminal. Nothing was aligned
inside her mind. No matter how she
disputed with the voices in her head, this lying accuser would not stand
down. No mercy granted. He had been issued his authority to assault
and he did not plan on stopping that assault.
Result.
An increasingly frustrated, increasingly infuriated, increasingly
humiliated, increasingly debilitated young woman. What was happening at present was so contrary
to anything she had ever anticipated for herself.
This first phase of Satan’s attack to
maul the mind—it was happening so fast!
