INTRODUCTION

Truth flows from the pages of the Word of God in such a way that only thru diligent exploration will one be able to find the guidance they are seeking.  It is there to be found, however, in the underlining parables, proverbs, and psalms that were written long ago.  The entire depth of wisdom that the Holy Bible contains is immeasurable, not to be duplicated by any other written work. 

Surfacing is an issue based on the fact that God assessed everything as “good.”  This would include creating men and women in His own image.  For centuries, and beyond, there has been a stringent belief about homosexuality, implying that God is an enemy of persons of this persuasion.  The record needs to be set straight on several issues on the subject as absolutely no one can speak for God on this topic.  Instead, let us allow His Word to speak for itself.

How does the homosexual, and others born with sexual anomalies, remotely fit into His design?  Perhaps they do not seemingly fit because God did not necessarily blueprint this model for them, or author it.  While at the same time, He permitted its inception. You may ask yourself how this works exactly.

 Well, the Garden of Eden is where it all started, and ended, whereas all of our human rights became wholly violated. Mankind had become vulnerable to aspects within his nature that would never have been natural, on all points, otherwise.  Our Father knew of two entities, referred to as trees, which were present in the Garden.  He said, “The tree of life was also in the midst of the garden, and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil,” (Genesis 2:9).  It is why He also said, “But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die,” in Genesis 2:17. 

God was well aware of a cunning enemy which He did not want any of us to know about or have to deal with.  God did not want Adam or Eve exposed to this unleashed evil on the same level as His own personal awareness was.  Adam and Eve were given the sole privilege to be in a place where everything was utopias.  What was granted to them had been especially planned as a paradise for them.  Why would they even want to know of evil?  Why go there?  Did they not know what evil was vicariously?  Were they not aware?  For sure, God does not reveal to us everything at once. But, He tells us what we need to know, when we need to know it.  Dealing with us on a need to know basis. 

       ~The crumbs of His wisdom are hard to grasp~

Now, in the Garden scenario, Adam and Eve had readily eaten the fruit that is sweet (good), in order to ingest the sweetness of it, as if the (evil) poison part would escape ingestion.  This brand of ‘fruit,’ described as good, yet is also evil, should peak one’s suspicion, not their appetites.  Ordinarily, most would reject the idea of eating food (i.e. poisonous berries, poisonous mushrooms) that could potentially kill you, regardless if it supposedly “makes one wise.”  It’s akin to eating arsenic laced cookies; each cookie that is eaten is inviting and delicious, until you die. 

       ~Physically, they did not die right away~

                                                    

The taking of the fruit, hints to an astute analogy that took place here.  It was not so much the eating of the fruit, as it was the evil injected against God in suggesting that He was withholding something of value from them.  What God was, in fact, trying to withhold was the corruption of Satan’s consumptive ways from them.  The signets intended to create suspicion, distrust, and slander against God was the bigger error.  In truth, God was desperately pleading with Adam and with Eve,

“Wait!  Don’t eat that!” 

“Don’t fall for the lies this enemy of mine tells you!”

           “It may look good enough to eat (meaning, his doctrine),

            but it’s not!”

b

 Another aspect to consider is that God created everything in good faith, by design.  He did not intend to create a robotic colony of enamored creatures that would simply blindly obey, so to speak.  In other words, God gave man a charge, set it all up for our complete success, and watched while rooting for us to lead our own destiny.  He did not expect for man to fall.  God’s expectations are exceptionally higher than that. 

        

    ~But we did it anyway, we did fall!~ 

 Even today, we sometimes proclaim whenever duped by another,   with excuses that fail us, 

“I can’t believe I fell for that.”

“What had happened was. . .”   

Clearly evident is the subtlety of the “father of lies” when he first planted himself in their midst, hanging around, waiting for an opportunity to weave his web.  Satan’s play on words cost us our glory, and vanity fixed our fallen states as people of the earth.  How could we ever recover from this on our own?  How could we undo the ‘do’ when the only offset that would suffice was a redo of the situation? 

 In answer to this dilemma, a wholly new man (new creature) would be formed who would also plant himself in our midst, hanging around, waiting for a precise opportunity to set us free with the Good News from our Creator. Words from the Lord.  Jesus Christ (Yeshua) is called the Word for a reason, where it says about Him, “In the beginning was the Word.”  Gratefully, He brings a good word of hope and reconciliation (this means friendship) with the Father.

b

Most of us are familiar with how the story of Adam and Eve conceivably ended.  In case anyone missed the ending, the real ending, Satan loses.  According to Jesus’ own account in Luke 10:18, “I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven” because it so happens that He was there, on that day, with His Father. 

And where do you think that Satan landed?  How about, he landed right in the midst of the Garden.  In fact, it does not matter which one of us came into being as the first male and female.  It could have been Adam and Eve.  It could have been you.  It could have been me.  One thing is sure, once Satan was cast down to the earth, all-out war was officially declared!  As it was so in heaven, now it is so on earth. This history of warfare is well documented:  Lucifer’s initial mistake was in challenge to God; in that, he presumed he was just as worthy of adoration as due God.  His bias to the notion of possessing unique beauty and form, as well as his high ranking position as archangel, clouded Lucifer’s judgment—this being his only claim to fame.  Here was this lone wolf of a creature who wanted other created beings to direct their eyes toward him while taking their eyes off of God, A.K.A. Creator. 

He chose it.  He authored it.  And he must own it—that is to say, his pride.  And with that he acquired his new title as Satan (Adversary of God).  What audacity!  What conceit!   First he lied to himself in thinking that he had merited the honor of glory, which was a great sin by the way.  Then he lied to us.  But before he deceived Eve and Adam together, the two of them actually did have the upper hand.  For they were the only ones in charge and the only ones given full authority and dominion of the earth where Satan and his cronies were banished.  They knew this.  This was not hidden from them.  Satan knew too.  He wanted to steal it from their hands.  And he eventually did.  No one knows how long this effort might have taken though it is written as if it took a ‘hot minute’ to make such a ‘hot mess’ of this age.

Early childhood Years

A lot of miles have been traveled to get here.  Life happens for a reason.  And no matter what, it’s good to be here.  Alive and able to tell what happened.  We all have this testimony in us that can explain how we survived and overcame; and are yet surviving and overcoming. 

She remembers yesterday.  And remembers.  And remembers still.  Compare trying to live in today’s light, while constantly thinking about yesterday’s looming shadow.  How the shadow looms.

 Recounting almost every subtlety—natural and spiritual—working simultaneously throughout her life.  Able to tune into the airwaves of both of these realms as each attributed daunting effects on her while growing up from a small child into adulthood.

b

She was born July 8, 1965 at Chicago Lying-In Hospital.  She knew very little about her father.  Vaguely recalling grapevine gossip from front porch conversations and from the kitchen table of chatty women, she believes he wore a military uniform.  She is doubtful as to his engaging in any real combat.  He might have been a cook or something like that.  He states some of this personally himself; such as, upon his return of duty in the early, early sixties, he recalls meeting and dating her mom and how this quickly led to marriage.  And how a baby would eventually be born, of course.  A baby girl, ready for the world! 

On the other hand, her mother was not as ready for motherhood, nor did the world care that a new bundle of joy had arrived.  A baby girl was born just the same, with a spirit and a will to live, no matter how broken. 

       ~Life from birth was twenty-four, long hours a day ~

Speaking about it with her father later on in life, after the precious years had fluttered away, her father memorably talked about only the pleasant things he chose to remember.  He exuberantly described the wife of his youth as a very beautiful and smart woman.  He surmised that this was not a shared belief on her part, as his bride did not believe herself to be neither beautiful nor smart.   Low self-esteem. 

Continuing with his dialogue, joyfully reminiscing on lighthearted things, the nickname that he used to call his firstborn baby girl comes up.  He smiles dotingly; explaining how he chose the name “Twinkie” since she ate one of them just about every day.  His claim was that on most days when he came home from work in late afternoon, he would take her out and about with him, doing neighborhood stuff, strolling along to visit frequent hangouts, and that.   Always purposing to buy her a Hostess Twinkie cake before returning home. 

At first glance, to think about it did seem like good times.  Fond memories (for him).  But as she recalls it, in the here and now, this yummy snack food was meant to be used as “comfort food.”  But what had she needed comfort from?  Hmm?  Unfortunately, his little girl knows that answer today.   She needed comfort, in order to survive.  To forget.  Interpretively,

“Mommy didn’t mean it, okay?”

“Okay, mommy didn’t mean it,” parroting.

“That’s my girl.”

“Wattsmagyro,” answers back, mouth full of cake.

~Hushed abuse ~

Rejected by her mother from the beginning; unshielded by her father. He was weak from the beginning, too weak to protect her.  She supposes that he did not know what else to do (besides to show a blind eye) in order to keep this young, growing family together.  Benefit of the doubt says, perhaps he did try.  Perhaps her mother, in a brief paroxysm of humanity, was mentally stable enough to decide that they (three young children by that time) would fare better living someplace else instead of at the hands of her negligence. 

b

Listening to her father as he revisits those days ignites flashbacks of her own:  All grown up now, the day that she went away is as fresh a memory as ever:  She was happy and buoyant on this particular day only because they were “going someplace.”  It had to be on the weekend because her grandmother was at home. 

Her grandmother, ever the studious person, had a perfectly beautiful smile (although it was rationed and rarely seen). She was a woman who always worked, it seems.  She started working while in high school through a work program (another grapevine tidbit). Staying current with her career often required that she sometimes had to take this or that class to update her job skills.  So, like other days, books and random papers were spread all over the dinette table.  In another corner of the room, an overlooked piano collected a blanket coating of dust; a nicely suited accompaniment to the dust mites scurrying across the dark, wood flooring.  Add one lone sofa against the wall by the entrance door.  That’s it.  This completes the look. No pictures were up.  No décor existed.  This gave credence to the simplicity implied, such as it was. 

Running around, running around, she was.  Every now and again stopping to catch a quick breath, musing, trying to fix her lips, just right, to make them whistle like grandmother was doing.  Her grandmother went throughout the house whistling and humming and even sporting a little jig on this day.  It was her day off!  Anyhow, this upbeat mood caused a whole quarter to pass from her grandmother’s hand into her little, elated palm to go pick out a piece of fruit at the corner market.  

Gathering her senses in order not to get lost, she skipped along the way to buy the juiciest orange that she could find.  Oh yes, this was going to be a very good day!  And later on, with energy to spare, this cheery child freely ran around the house some more, jumping up and down on that forlorn sofa.  And no one yelled at her!  Not yet! 

She duly remembers peeping (pestering is more like it) in on her mother’s nearly grown, although, younger brothers while they tried to sleep in.  They looked so unseemly.  Yuck! (In toddler speech).  Sprawled in those twin-sized, bunk beds they had obviously outgrown a long time ago. 

With nothing much left to do, this little girl finally ran out of steam, just waiting.  Waiting, waiting, and waiting patiently for her mother to get ready.  So laborious.  Filling time, finding adventures out back in the yard, a bit tricky.  Better not get dirty! 

The time came when it really was time to go.  In all, this day was truly turning out to be the most childlike and normal that she had ever felt or had been allowed to feel.  Her mother, her infant and toddler brothers, and she walked to the bus stop (actually she skipped at times in order to keep pace with her mother).  When the bus came to its stop, they vigorously walked along some more.  They eventually came to a new place where she saw some unfamiliar faces.  She became acquainted (reacquainted) with relatives, namely, her great-grandmother and a few older cousins.

Suspicious, with all of this mingling, however, she dared not take her eyes off of her mother.  Watching intently.  Especially, after she became aware of the two adult women whispering, chatting loudly, followed by more whispering—sinister small talk about greens and cornbread!  All the while, this four year old child was able to discern that she and her brothers were not merely visiting.  When finally their mother left, it was without them.  No hugs.  No goodbye.