No longer behaving contentiously with God
about seeking her own desires was such a relief for her. It was nowhere near over yet. But the battle was the Lord’s now. Had always been.
Excitement
is in the air at the thought of reconciliation back with the eternal Father. She is more than ready now, and willing, to
be under His “yoke.” His “burden is light” in comparison to the exhausting, prodigal
events that sought to consume her life thus far. Just like the Bible profoundly describes it
in Psalm 131: 2, “Surely I have
calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with his mother; like a
weaned child is my soul within me.”
To be weaned, taken away from the thing that sought to corrupt her
entire soul, is beyond comforting.
b
All is quiet now, back in her
apartment. The thoughts which are
orbiting her mind right now make more sense.
Tis true. It is wonderful to once
again be able to think on His goodness.
To be enlightened by the true Light, watching it
unfold before her eyes. Seeing the
scales and stones begin to defrost and melt away from her heart. The hard, fallow ground, at last to be
cultivated by the hand of God. Hope was
in her sights, although there would be many more battles to fight in order to
realize the outcome of her newfound victory.
~It will take years and years~
Each day, during the early hours, from
the time that she awoke until about 3:00 p.m., listening intently, tuned in
deep fellowship with her heavenly Father.
Making herself completely available; contentedly sitting before His
throne with attentive ears. (Consider this to be a ritual of friendship, not a sacrilegious exercise of appeasement.) It was more about being attuned with God,
sharing a genuine joy of presence, and not preoccupied or pressed with her own
interests.
Time for reading the Bible again was
eagerly reinstated. Hmm? Where to start? First choice. A hunter green Gideon Bible taken from, where
else? And second choice. The only other Bible she owned at the time
had been gifted to her from the funeral parlor where her estranged mother was
eulogized (1990). It was a gift that she
held close, and still possesses to this present day (2014). Both Bibles would require a light dusting
after years of avoidance. Too many years
had gone by. But regardless, it was a
start.
b
It was most important that she listen for
His voice! Yet, learning to listen was a
challenge. We must attain the ears to do this.
It was such a mild, meek voice that it might easily be missed. For
His voice is His presence, and His presence is like a dove (i.e. easily
ruffled). If she, for instance, watched
endless hours of television or talked constant on the phone she might miss when
He spoke, if not careful. So it became
of utmost importance not to habitually engage distracting activities such as
these. Instead, the days were heavily
meditative. Had to be. Distractions are deceptive. It causes you to miss out:
“Sing to me,” she would sometimes hear
His voice speak to her heart.
“It’s been a long time since I sang any
songs;”
“I don’t think I know all the words to any,”
she would sheepishly reply.
“How about a song you used to sing when you
were a child?” He would gently chide.
As she thought about which ones that
might be, His Spirit reminded her of such familiar songs. Waves of excitement
rushed her as she recalls the easy lyrics and repetition of these lost
songs. They are the most simple and
sweetest songs to sing. She gladly sang
as many as she could remember with joy.
Honored to do it!
b
At the feet of the Master is where this
all takes place. This is the place where
He is able to teach her to receive from His bounty. Hardness of heart loosens its reign, while
the evil roots of a familial curse are being quaked and uncovered. She can sense
the saturation of His anointing, a healing salve, pouring over her. This healing balm seeps through all of the
stoniness in her heart. An intense surge (transfusion) of spiritual strength
made possible via her sitting daily before God and soaking up His grace like a
sponge. A great anecdote from a Great Physician.
He washes her feet now and makes her as
clean as before. He lays out a robe for
her to wear, discarding the filthy rags that Satan prepared for her to wear. He anoints with fresh oil, reviving and
refreshing the spirit, making her soul feel alive again. A virtual banquet table is also set, generating
an atmospheric gesture. All around is
celebratory. Excepting, an obviously
uninvited pessimist makes his undesirable presence known, but does nothing that can hinder the Word (Manna) from strengthening her
extremely frail state—feasting freely on the Bread of Life in order to quench the draught of the past three and
a half years.
And there is no further doubt in her mind
about why. All of the Why me? questions are answered at last: That demon-imp sent way back when to her
great-grandmother’s house was for a reason.
The great scheme devised since the day that a little girl child was
conceived was for a reason. After many,
many years, the “gates of hell” had failed to prevail after all. Miraculously, the effort that Satan put forth
to persuade, to cast a shadow of doubt as to the sincerity of God, failed to
prosper as well. Everything good from
the garden of Grace had worked
together. All of it for free! Jesus had gladly paid the price for her
folly.
God had taken the helm of the situation,
indeed. He had never taken his eyes off
of this young girl all “growed up.”
Whose core self yet remained that of a child, untainted and resilient. God still remembered. He does not forget about us. The oaths and the vows that we make are
recorded in His Book. At the age of thirteen is not too young to
receive from Jesus Christ our Savior.
Those words that she had cited then, with little understanding, God did
hear. And although she was battered and
bruised and a near casualty of this spiritual war, this was her time to
heal. To recoup. To redeem the lost time.
Jesus availed himself as the Good
Samaritan that He is. The Lord provided a
“table in the wilderness” to eat and rest.
Eat and rest to regain her strength.
Learning to lean on the Everlasting Arms. Next time, prepared and able
to wield the proper force of weaponry—spiritual weapons. He knew that she would have to be ready to fight
again; fight to keep her victory in Christ.
But in the meantime, God lets her continue to bask in the beauty of His
fatherly love. He readily reveals the
glory of His character in this vein. Our
weaknesses give Him opportunity to prove Himself when we come to the end of
ourselves. Brothers and Sisters, God is
not preoccupied with our sins as we might think. He is Who He emphatically said He is.
(God
is Love.) He’s saying,
“Look!”
“No,
really look!”
“Behold
My glory!”
“Look
at what I can do!”
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